Zombie Disco Squad - Secret London

The undead party starters take us on a tour of their London haunts.

Flat White Coffee Shop
17 Berwick Street London, W1F 0PT
02077340370
www.flat-white.co.uk

Why bother with illegal drugs when there are so many amazing legal drugs available? Flat White serves up the best coffee in London without a doubt, and we can quite often be found getting jacked up on their namesake coffee (a hybrid between a cappuccino and a latte). If that wasn't enough each coffee has tribal patterns lovingly poured into the foam with almost erotic precision. The only downside is that it's not closer to our studio. A slight warning of the dangers of too much coffee can be found in the eyes of the antipodeans serving you, remember kids – less is more.

The Notting Hill Exchange (also known as Music and Video Exchange)
The shops run down Pebridge Villas and along Notting Hill Gate - full list of shops can be found at - www.mveshops.co.uk

This is a chain of second hand shops that sells everything - literally everything (they recently had a soiled mattress on sale for a pound outside one of the shops). The Men's and Women's clothes shops sell clothes and accessories that range from crazy expensive designers in the top end stores to the rags off a tramp’s back in their budget shop. If vinyl makes you excited then the music shops will definitely rock your world. Between their three record shops they sell every genre of music ever made. Being house freaks we always go to the soul and dance store where they generally have a ton of promos. If you have the patience, do take a portable turntable to the bargain basement and dig for gold. In all the shops the price generally represents the goods sold- however, this doesn't mean you can't find bargains, the staff are really knowledgeable - but can be really moody (don't take it personally).

Huong Viet
An Viet House, 12-14 Englefield Road, London, N1 4LS
02072757780

MSG can make pretty much anything taste good (think Pringles - once you pop you just can't ....). However it doesn't belong in any food that doesn't come before the word binge. And alas, a lot of Asian food is all too often loaded sky high with the stuff. Not this joint though, this is by far and away the best Vietnamese restaurant outside of Vietnam. It has everything that a good eatery should have- cheap good food, Soviet style decor and really rude service. We recommend the sweet and sour chicken (a classic rarely bettered) and the prawn toast (mmm, crunchy). Despite looking like a squat, the inside of the building on this quiet road is warm and seemingly always open.

Dalston Market
Ridley Rd, E8
Open: Mon-Wed, 9am-3pm, Thu 9am-midday, Fri/Sat 9am-5pm

Hackney used to be really hard, lots of drugs, guns, gangs and crack hoes..... It still is, except these days there are also a massive load of skinny jeans hipsters around as well. Dalston Market has managed to keep most of its authenticity- it really feels like you have entered a developing nation when walking in it. Big smelly fish are sold next to fake goods that nestle next to African fabrics and weird Caribbean clothes. Check out the watch shop about half way along on the left hand side - there's some real nice dead stock in his window. Just make sure you make it out before he manages to convert you to Islam (which isn’t a bad thing, just not something that you expect when buying a retro Casio).

Coma Y Punto
Brixton Village
02073264316

A little known fact is that Brixton has quite a large Columbian population and I'm sure that most of them eat here at one point or another. We tend to go for a late breakfast which consists of a loads of fried rice, beans, chorizo sausages, fried plantain and killer mud thick coffee. The food's great and they have a mural of hand painted bricks that belongs in a museum. While your there, check out the jewelry shop opposite, it's where So-Solid get their ghetto fab. (We don't actually know that for a fact but it's possible).

Phonica
51 Poland St W1F 7NG
02070256070
www.phonicarecords.co.uk

This isn’t exactly a secret, but it is easily the best record shop in town for house based music (ie: electro, techno, fidget etc). Ask for Ben, he knows best.

The Coronet Cinema
103 Notting Hill Gate, London, W11 3LB
020 7727 6705

The Coronet used to be the only smoking cinema left in Europe, however once they had kicked all the smokers out on their tar filled asses, bizness got very slow and they were forced to sell the cinema to a local church. There is no discernable difference- unless you count the fact that 'The Passion of the Christ' seemed to run for a very long time and you have to say a prayer before you eat your popcorn. Anyways religious and historical rubbish aside, you can go and watch cheap films here on a Tuesday- just don't expect any blasphemy.

The Stone Cave
111 Kingsland High Street, London, E8 2PB

Bored of eating in ‘normal’ restaurants? Tired of simple ‘chairs’ ? Then head to The Stone Cave where you can sit and dine on the finest slabs of stone, surrounded by stalagmites and stalactites! The food is super nice quality and always cooked well, I can’t for the life of me remember the name of the dish I always have but it involves meat, rice and yoghurt and always makes me feel like I am expecting the arrival of twins a few hours later. Mmmm, perfect! Stick around until closing time and you can witness the sweet melodies of a competent Turkish Jazz band!

TK MAXX
Clapham

I spent two days trawling through ‘vintage’ and ‘retro’ shops around West London and Camden, only to find horribly outshaped Levis that seemed to have been worn by a whale before I tried them on. Add to this the fact that they wack a tenner on top of the asking price just when they have ‘taken them in’ and you pretty much seal the fate of these blood sucking money merchants. Instead, you can find us in the strangely scented aisles of TK Maxx in sunny Clapham, delicately fingering the ‘reduced’ section for bargains. Recent finds include two pairs of Cheap Monday jeans for £35 and as much Kim Jones/Umbro collaborations as you could shake a stick at. Boom! Dressed to impress for around £50! A word of warning though, DON’T GO WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND! The women’s section is a different beast altogether!

Published: 9/01/2008

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